How can we reduce the stress of the holidays?
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Written by: Olivia Keller, Psychological Counsellor & Consultant at Olivia Keller Wellbeing Services
How can we reduce the stress of the holidays?
The holiday season is just around the corner. The run-up to Christmas and Hanukkah can bring so much joy, but also so much stress. We can feel the financial strain as well as the organisational effort it takes to buy gifts, write cards, book family outings, travel to see family, or host extended family - all while making sure to complete projects and take care of end-of-year activities such as annual reviews at work.
Higher stress levels before the holiday break can be linked to numerous factors. For people without a support network around them, the festive season can feel tricky as feelings of loneliness can be heightened at this time. For others, family gatherings can be challenging due to difficult family dynamics and having to cater to a range of needs such as dietary requirements or nap and mealtimes of little ones. We may envisage cosy fireside catch-ups but end up in a heated political discussion instead.
And what about our health goals? With all the festive treats and alcoholic drinks the season offers, healthy eating might feel like the last thing to prioritise in December. And who has time for exercising anyway? Deep down, we know that ignoring our own physical wellbeing can cause physical issues to be exacerbated. We can also notice our energy levels and mood drop as we get trapped in a mindset of over-indulgence.
So how can we get ahead of these stressors? As one the busiest social times of the year approaches, it is crucial that we bring in some mindful planning and prioritise ourselves as well as others.
Here are five strategies to try out:
1. Wrap up the work year intentionally
Let’s start with work. Take some time to reflect on what you have achieved this year and what you are still working on. Try to see the bigger picture and assess which important projects need completing before the Christmas break. Of course, it’s also nice to mark the end of year with your team, so don’t miss out on the chance to get together with colleagues to wrap up the year and have some laughs.
2. Make a plan and adjust your expectations
Mindful planning can help us to slow down and be intentional about our actions, which in turn can save us energy and time. It is useful to reflect on your hopes and goals for the holidays. What are the key elements you want to get right? You can then review what still needs to be organised, and who might be able to help with this. If money or time to prepare are tight, support is limited, or circumstances are tricky, it might be relevant to adjust our expectations and reduce the pressure we place on ourselves. Could a ‘good-enough’ solution such as a shop-bought dessert do the trick? Are there any free family activities in your area?
3. Build up your resilience
The lead-up to the holidays can be intense and it is important to invest in our own wellbeing to balance out the additional stressors we are dealing with. If we are able to look after our physical, mental, and social wellbeing, we will be more relaxed and resilient once the holiday break is here. Try to build in times during which you prioritise yourself and your wellbeing. Do you have time for a quick call with a friend? How about doing some exercises to start off the day? To deal with anxiety, refocusing the mind can be a gamechanger. You could try out a daily gratitude journal.
4. Connect the festivities with your personal values
Before a family gathering or a festive meal, remind yourself of what you care about most. Ask yourself how you can bring these values into the time with your family. For instance, if you care about being authentic, you could seek conversations in which you can honestly share how you have been doing. If you love to help others, you could ask the host if you can take over the cleaning up. Living out our values can add meaning and joy to our experiences.
5. Have a strategy for dealing with challenging situations
If you expect there to be challenges, it can be useful to have a coping or exit strategy. This could be a way of setting boundaries, switching to a plan B, or leaving a situation. You might have a go-to answer to political questions such as “I really don't want to talk about politics today”. If your children are overstimulated and tired, you might need to go for a walk with them or leave a family dinner early. Try to anticipate the most likely challenges and have a plan to deal with them.
If you found some of these ideas interesting, here are three questions for you:
What are you most proud of achieving this year?
How will you invest in your wellbeing this month?
What does a realistic and meaningful plan for the holidays look like for you?
Wishing you a joyful holiday season with family and friends!
About the author:
Olivia Keller is a Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist accredited by the BABCP in the United Kingdom with a MSc in Clinical Psychology. Olivia has specialised in Digital Mental Health and Blended Care, as well as in working with individuals and organisations to improve Workplace Wellbeing.
With 10+ years of international technology start-up, programme management, psychotherapy, and research experience in digital health, Olivia is passionate about driving innovation to help more people connect with mental health and wellbeing services. Olivia currently works in private practice.
Learn more: Olivia Keller Wellbeing Services
